Om Sarva Buddha Dakini Hri Mama Sakta Soha

I say, give them hell when you fall. Drop(lets),falling hard and fast and full of rage. A leaf, a page to turn.

I don't know why,

Stars are lonely rangers in the night sky.

They've been plaguing me for weeks, you know. I stopped talking a while ago because "letting it all out", as you so piously professed, didn't do a goddamn thing. And you know as well as I do I lied to them. You should hear what they say... really.

It's slipping out of my control, see. I thought I was in the driver seat. Now I'm just in for the ride as they coast me through azure plains, down, down, down into the basement. Swinging by the neck.

I think I'll be OK.

No. Maybe not.

You should see the way I taste - stormy bleached out wet spit.

Omnomnom reference.

http://smittenkitchen.com/2009/01/mushroom-bourguignon/

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/11/dinner-tonight-roasted-cauliflower-with-indian-spices-recipe.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/07/wild-mushroom-ragout-over-creamy-polenta-recipe.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/09/jerk-pork-recipe.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/09/provencal-olive-fougasse-recipe.html

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2010/03/the-nasty-bits-lamb-kidneys-fried-huo-bao-fuchsia-dunlop.html

Everything is Illuminated

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2006/07/absinthe-cake/

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2009/01/dave-ts-spinach-cake/

http://www.davidlebovitz.com/2005/08/long-live-the-k/

http://www.food.com/recipe/chocolate-orange-fudge-98783

http://www.seriouseats.com/recipes/2011/02/cook-the-book-lemony-chicken-pot-pie-with-par.html

Crackling leaves?

This year I have found myself totally unaware that autumn was settling in on her amber horseback, gently trotting through apple orchards in my head. But today I woke up and smelled October, cold brisk air and warm sunlight twisted around fallen leaves. I woke up with a taste for icy park walks and baking tartines, putting cream and honey in my coffee and turning twigs into miniature sequin trees.

It's taking a long time to readjust to reality, in fact I do not think I'm doing so yet, but for the moment at least the thought is there. It's more than I can do to get up and dress myself most days. The bath could drown me and swallow me whole (and we all know the kitchen could burn down under my touch), so don't get me fucking started on life and how to do it gooder.

I think it's time to bake a tart. Tomates au riz.

Um

NO, you fucking retard. It's NOT about cheating on you and it SURE AS SHIT is not about elliot. But it's still funny as fuck XD

Fuck Fucketty Fuckery Fuck.

I'd love to tell you all now that I feel guilt. I should. I would. But baby when you stick it in me, I tell you how to get me off. Shit feels good. I feel fucking explosive, like a high borne atom thrust skyward with no hope of return. Chemicalise me and masturbate me, goddamn... everything is lucid and my heart is speeding. I wanna be a big bad cunt with lots of material and shit all to show for it.

I'm going to hurt you, mister man. I'm going to tear you apart because it gets me wet, throw you away and enjoy watching the result. Fucking hell. I LOVE being this psychotic.

But I hate waking up to the sound of screaming inside my skull at four AM.

Nah lav, fuck that shit.

I swore alot.

:)

Even though everything was silence and static, I could feel the world shaking in it's hollow sleep.

Perfect

So, we've reached another stale mate, huh...

Perfect body, perfect soul.

Purged by my element, I will... I will be ok.

Signal failure.

Renal failure.

Send for donors.


I stand, disgusted and miserable at the thing I have totally allowed myself to become and I cannot comprehend staying this way and living. Do or die. We'll see. Yeah. We will, you know how we are :)

Your lips would speak volumes if they weren't mine.

It's about to get real sick.

Sick.
Sick.
Sick.



Do not revive.


In stasis until further notice.

xxxxxxxxxx