Bah Sketti.

Dice two onions and sweat them in butter over a low heat. Add a teaspoon of bouillon, a pinch of smoked paprika, a tablespoon of hp sauce and some hot chilli sauce.

Add a carton/tin of tomatoes, allow to simmer for ten minutes and taste, seasoning accordingly. Blend in a food processor or use an immersion blender. Now you can stir soya mince into this.
(Optional)>> Grate pecorino or parmesan cheese- about a handful- and add along with a tablespoon of cream cheese, stirring to incorperate evenly.

Serve over spaghetti.

Prawns, tuna or any other seafood work well in place of the soya mince. This sauce is a little heavy to compliment most vegetables

Chains, Whips and Wiggling Hips

A few interesting things to blog about today. First up, I went to Pedestal on Thursday. Now that was fun- my first time in a club and I walked in with my nipples out and a man on a chain at my side. I wore a black string vest, red underbust corset and a tartan skirt paired (courtesy of Noz) with black PVC boots. There was a chill out room by one of the bars, a rave room, the main room with all of the main metal stands and benches and a goddess room for quiet massages and a St Andrews just for fun ^-^. I didn't pay for any of my drinks, got a really good massage, had my nipples spanked and in general just had a great night. Hopefully next time I can convince Mike to come along and if I keep him close, he might not get leapt upon by more viscious women (yep, they're out there).

Has anyone seen that Ped-Egg advert? Isn't that vile?? The name itself is gross, it sounds like a paedophile's favourite insertable. Here you go.





And now I'm curled up with a beer watching Bill & Ted which feels very Sunday-ish. And somewhere in the back of my mind I'm thinking about underwear shopping - I think Mike should pick some for me :P. And further in the back of my mind I'm thinking, "Time to save up for my own corset." And more close to my gut I'm craving spaghetti and meatballs in a huge bowl, a glass of full bodied red wine and a salad. And dancing in the dark beneath some fairy lights. Girl needs a date already :( I need romancing!

Michael Webb, I..

Do not hesitate to blog my anger, and believe me you will get a hard slap on your bruised face when you get home because I am very, very fucking angry with you. For the pleasure of everyone at home -
Michael got paraleticly drunk last night and fell into a ditch, then rolled around on a dark road with me trying to pick him up out of it and him rolling straight back. He nearly got run over. The police were called and they were extremely rude to me and I put up with ALOT of shit from them to the point where I was real close to reporting them, took you to hospital until you regained consciousness and then you threw up on yourself. Then you were screaming I DON'T GIVE A SHIT TAKE ALL MY ORGANS I WANT TO DIE. Then you called me a fucking whore and a cunt, told me to kill myself, told me you wished I were dead and that I was not the woman you fell in love with. There was a bunch of other insults slung at me, but you get my drift, no?
He mashed up his face on the floor but thankfully was too drunk to assault a police officer, however you would not put on your clothes (just your trousers because you couldn't work out how to take them off) and were thrown in a cell for the night. The police left me outside the hospital with no money and no phone and said Good Luck. I was left lone in the middle of the night in a place I had never been, drunk and shit scared. I had to sit in the hospital reception for six and a half hours waiting for the train station to open and my mom came to pick me up, and YES that was expensive for her. And YES it was cold and no I didn't use your card to buy anything because no where is open at 3 AM. I fell asleep sitting upright at 8.30 and a security guard at the hospital woke me up and said everyone was staring at me and I should fuck off home if I was that tired. I HAD A SHIT NIGHT. And I am, oh yes, so very very angry.

Herons are Head of the bird Hierachy

Well, that's the english exam over. I don't particularly feel like blogging recipes today, so I'll tell you all a story about a walk in the park. It was pretty cool actually, and I saw a bunch of peacocks doing flashy tail things. There were six ducks, three of each gender and I still don't know what ducks eat. It's not bread, so don't say it. Then we went to the Japanese garden and there was a heron- man those things look evil when they turn their head and rotate those beady white eyes at you. There was also koi carp and a thick layer of slimey foam which shall be called sloam. Even though I think sloam is already a word. We wandered to the garden shop and I fell in love with a knobblish tree stump plant, and poked the herbs. As we walked back there was a crazy lawnmowering man of about eighty, fag hanging out the side of his mouth mowering into a wall.

And then I was home. And here I am. At least a wander outside today has made me a little calmer.

I did have a bit of a hangover this morning and thus forgot my college card, tubed it back here to grab it and got into the exam room juuust in time. Later I would learn that college now hands out one day passes :( So a waste of panicking.

Next week is a little bit of a busy schedule, but I'm sure I'll find some time to catch up with everyone over a drink and some food. I feel like I haven't seen anyone in ages. But I'm free Monday to Wednesday. I can sort something out, perhaps in the park again? I do like sitting back in the sun with tasty bits of nomnom and a cold boozing.

A Mixture of Memos.

Just a bunch of stuff I need to remember, as well as a hint that my upcoming posts will be recipe posts.
Bubbles' lice treatment is the Monday after this one coming- Sof', if you read this before I remember remind me to remember.
English Exam is on the 20th. I'm fucked. Biology is on the 1st. I'm fuckeder still.
I need to print out an application form for next year and gather the relevant details.
The money still hasn't gone through to my account. That's £60 now. And since Mike is basically buggered with the amount of debt he has somehow accumulated it would have been nice to be able to transfer that money over to help. I need that money, even if it's not for me.
I HAVE to sort out my room. It's ridiculously cramped here now and I can't swing a cat at a wall or whatever the expression is. If I can rid myself of some clothes that would help. If Jan would trade rooms like she used to say she would when I needed the space, that would help.

So, my upcoming posts are going to be:
-Basic Complimentary Flavours
-The Simple Things That Make Simple Things Complex
-A Sauce Recipe, A Pie Recipe (or two), Some More Soups

That should keep me busy.


In other news, I've been as unbusy as ever avoiding revision and socialising. I opt instead to sit solitary and read or game, cook, write or draw. These things keep me more than entertained most of the time which is good enough. I'm fairly happy, the OH and I aren't bickering (much :P)
and there is a level of inner peace that keeps me from going over the edge of any threshholds of rationality or emotion. Which means, in short, I'm doing OK.

The Things That Tingle

Heeheehee. I just found out that Mike actually reads this (honeypie, I think youre the only one!)

Yesternight I whiskey and coked myself to naptime.

Now I just sit back and watch that handsome sonofabitch sleep, mouth open, drooling, snoring, picking his nose and scratching his ass.

I wouldnt trade him for THE WORLD.

I love you sweetie

xXx

And Everything's Gonna Be OK

Chrissy-chan. Aleshkai. Let's burn this city with out extraness? I''d love a night outs if no one minds :D

Reasons Prince of Persia is Shit.

Elika. She is ALWAYS in the fucking way. You have to do a little dance to get her to move. She hangs off your arm. She jumps on your back. She copies your every move. These things take time, which sometimes means the untimely death of your character. AGAIN. In battle, her move is temperamental. Press Y to attack this enemy with Elika's move- "I'll get this one", "I can't reach". Come closer then. "I'm not close enough", "Let me handle this". Make up your fucking mind. By this point of course, your character is a pile of crippled bones.

Delay. When engaged in combat the enemies can hit you to the floor and hit again before you're up. I was cornered by a giant rock and mercilessly pebble-raped until Elika came 'to help'. Sometimes pressing X and B doesn't actually mean you're attacking, it's just a nice way to kill time inbetween beatings. Your ass will get creamed and served back to you. Cold. When the enemy decides to REALLY lay into you with their special moves you have the chance to block by pressing one of five buttons. After the message pops up letting you know you have to hold block to continue, a big flashing A appears but you're still pressing block and it doesn't count. It's pointless and wastes time since you have infinite lives any way, serving only to allow enough anger to build up that you are forced to buy more xbox controllers to replace the shattered remnants of their predecessors.

The A button. Guess what? To wallrun, jump, climb rings, lift yourself off ledges and skim along celings you press A. Why does A do everything? X isn't even used and all B does is serve as secondary ceiling skim button (forgetting this at the last moment is not fun). Y is Elika's everything button, saving you and such. More often than not, her mid fall saving throws you further into the abyss. Murderous bitch.

And the special that allows you to run antigrav around walls. Yeah. What a fucking jar. You can spend up to a minute doing this only to bump into a crack in the bricks and plummet to your death. Restart time. Grr.

A List of Things That Don't Just Apply To Guys

In no particular order:

-Sweaty crotch.
-Beer babies.
-Blocking the toilet with monster shits
-Parents walking in while you're masturbating.
-And not leaving for ages, diminishing any traces of horny-ness.
-Shaving stubble, albeit not entirely in the same areas.
-Spots.
-The ability to eat an entire Porterhouse steak.
-Seeing how high you can pee.
-Constant desire for beer and chips.
-Drooling over a nice pair of tits.
-30+hour gaming sessions.
-Spitting.
-Swearing.
-Watching sports with 'the lads'.
-Lazyness.
-Self mutilation for the sake of fun and grossing people out, or as a sport.


I'll add more later.

Mandatory Mumblings

I've been really stressed and irritable recently much to Mike's dismay, as he always seems to be on the receiving end of my gnarling and gnashing, shaking jowels and frothy-eyed screaming. Poor bugger. I could blame PMS. I could equally blame the blatent ignorance some people show when they repeatedly turn up uninvited, shortly after a long string of annoyances. No, even that is not what's really got to me. It's the continuity of self pity I've always had.
Now, I know all too well I should be dealing with the problematic things in life that everyone else gets on with. Gah. Braindead.

And you kn0w what's better? I feel like I have no one. The few friends I do have are too far to go round for the evening. My boyfriend comes home, sits on xbox, gropes my ass and goes to sleep. My mother won't eat dinner with me, since nothing I cook is good enough. If I'm tired, Mike's up all night. Come morning, he's had a wank and doesn't want any attention. And when this all gets to me, I cry quietly so I don't wake him up.
I don't even have drinking buddies any more.

Key Lime Pie

Sofa, as promised, my recipe for Key Lime Pie ^-^

Crust Ingredients

Digestive Biscuits
Butter- Unsalted
Powdered Ginger (optional)

Filling Ingredients

A can of condensed milk
Four egg yolks
Nine limes
A little cream


Method

Crush the shit out of 200g of digestive biscuits. If you want, add three teaspoons of ginger powder now. Melt 100g of butter on a LOW heat so as not to burn it, and stir this into the bicuit crumbs.
Flatten the crumb-dough around a greased pie tin evenly across the base and the sides. Put this into the oven at around 180degC until it is brown- around ten minutes.
Pour the four egg yolks and lime zest from four limes into a bowl and whisk with an electric whisk until thick. Then add the condensed milk into the bowl, whisk to combine. Juice all the limes and add them into the mixture with a little cream, whisk one last time to combine all ingredients.
Spoon the pie filling into the crust and bake until set- around 15-20 mins.
Leave to cool.
Eat.

Life Gives You Lemons, Learn To Love Lemons.

The chances of me ever having kids is slipping into a smaller number by the minute. It doesn't bother me now, but I'm sure it will one day. Until then ^-^. I had fun at Sofa's over the weekend, and we cooked... something relatively pasta based which Sofa can now cook for herself as she watched and poked the whole time. The recipe was a standard tomato sauce, but if we hadn't been drinking and starving it probably would have had a much nicer flavour :P. We killed five bottles of wine and a 70CL bottle of 45% Import Strength Smirnoff, and subsequently fell into a deep comatic boozenap. Photos can be seen on Facebook.
My tune of the day is I Feel Like Dying- Lil Wayne. And the photos of the day are as follows:

The sky from my garden last year. I have such a poetic soul, this photo makes me all teary eyed just because of the intensity of the blue-ness of dusk.

And maybe a poem...

Wandering,
Thoughts are tumbling,
Waiting for tremors
to shake this shivering
Deliverance.
Pity me, gathering.
Attempting breathing as the world lies
Staggering
And we stay shuddering in fear-
This year is repeating.
Triggering
Reactions are cluttering
Speakers are stuttering
Crescendos are happening
This year is repeating.
Locked away, children are whispering
Huddling and coddling, in the dark
Fumbling for a light we're
Extinguishing
Relinquishing nothing
Since this year is repeating.