The Things That Tingle

Heeheehee. I just found out that Mike actually reads this (honeypie, I think youre the only one!)

Yesternight I whiskey and coked myself to naptime.

Now I just sit back and watch that handsome sonofabitch sleep, mouth open, drooling, snoring, picking his nose and scratching his ass.

I wouldnt trade him for THE WORLD.

I love you sweetie

xXx

And Everything's Gonna Be OK

Chrissy-chan. Aleshkai. Let's burn this city with out extraness? I''d love a night outs if no one minds :D

Reasons Prince of Persia is Shit.

Elika. She is ALWAYS in the fucking way. You have to do a little dance to get her to move. She hangs off your arm. She jumps on your back. She copies your every move. These things take time, which sometimes means the untimely death of your character. AGAIN. In battle, her move is temperamental. Press Y to attack this enemy with Elika's move- "I'll get this one", "I can't reach". Come closer then. "I'm not close enough", "Let me handle this". Make up your fucking mind. By this point of course, your character is a pile of crippled bones.

Delay. When engaged in combat the enemies can hit you to the floor and hit again before you're up. I was cornered by a giant rock and mercilessly pebble-raped until Elika came 'to help'. Sometimes pressing X and B doesn't actually mean you're attacking, it's just a nice way to kill time inbetween beatings. Your ass will get creamed and served back to you. Cold. When the enemy decides to REALLY lay into you with their special moves you have the chance to block by pressing one of five buttons. After the message pops up letting you know you have to hold block to continue, a big flashing A appears but you're still pressing block and it doesn't count. It's pointless and wastes time since you have infinite lives any way, serving only to allow enough anger to build up that you are forced to buy more xbox controllers to replace the shattered remnants of their predecessors.

The A button. Guess what? To wallrun, jump, climb rings, lift yourself off ledges and skim along celings you press A. Why does A do everything? X isn't even used and all B does is serve as secondary ceiling skim button (forgetting this at the last moment is not fun). Y is Elika's everything button, saving you and such. More often than not, her mid fall saving throws you further into the abyss. Murderous bitch.

And the special that allows you to run antigrav around walls. Yeah. What a fucking jar. You can spend up to a minute doing this only to bump into a crack in the bricks and plummet to your death. Restart time. Grr.

A List of Things That Don't Just Apply To Guys

In no particular order:

-Sweaty crotch.
-Beer babies.
-Blocking the toilet with monster shits
-Parents walking in while you're masturbating.
-And not leaving for ages, diminishing any traces of horny-ness.
-Shaving stubble, albeit not entirely in the same areas.
-Spots.
-The ability to eat an entire Porterhouse steak.
-Seeing how high you can pee.
-Constant desire for beer and chips.
-Drooling over a nice pair of tits.
-30+hour gaming sessions.
-Spitting.
-Swearing.
-Watching sports with 'the lads'.
-Lazyness.
-Self mutilation for the sake of fun and grossing people out, or as a sport.


I'll add more later.

Mandatory Mumblings

I've been really stressed and irritable recently much to Mike's dismay, as he always seems to be on the receiving end of my gnarling and gnashing, shaking jowels and frothy-eyed screaming. Poor bugger. I could blame PMS. I could equally blame the blatent ignorance some people show when they repeatedly turn up uninvited, shortly after a long string of annoyances. No, even that is not what's really got to me. It's the continuity of self pity I've always had.
Now, I know all too well I should be dealing with the problematic things in life that everyone else gets on with. Gah. Braindead.

And you kn0w what's better? I feel like I have no one. The few friends I do have are too far to go round for the evening. My boyfriend comes home, sits on xbox, gropes my ass and goes to sleep. My mother won't eat dinner with me, since nothing I cook is good enough. If I'm tired, Mike's up all night. Come morning, he's had a wank and doesn't want any attention. And when this all gets to me, I cry quietly so I don't wake him up.
I don't even have drinking buddies any more.

Key Lime Pie

Sofa, as promised, my recipe for Key Lime Pie ^-^

Crust Ingredients

Digestive Biscuits
Butter- Unsalted
Powdered Ginger (optional)

Filling Ingredients

A can of condensed milk
Four egg yolks
Nine limes
A little cream


Method

Crush the shit out of 200g of digestive biscuits. If you want, add three teaspoons of ginger powder now. Melt 100g of butter on a LOW heat so as not to burn it, and stir this into the bicuit crumbs.
Flatten the crumb-dough around a greased pie tin evenly across the base and the sides. Put this into the oven at around 180degC until it is brown- around ten minutes.
Pour the four egg yolks and lime zest from four limes into a bowl and whisk with an electric whisk until thick. Then add the condensed milk into the bowl, whisk to combine. Juice all the limes and add them into the mixture with a little cream, whisk one last time to combine all ingredients.
Spoon the pie filling into the crust and bake until set- around 15-20 mins.
Leave to cool.
Eat.

Life Gives You Lemons, Learn To Love Lemons.

The chances of me ever having kids is slipping into a smaller number by the minute. It doesn't bother me now, but I'm sure it will one day. Until then ^-^. I had fun at Sofa's over the weekend, and we cooked... something relatively pasta based which Sofa can now cook for herself as she watched and poked the whole time. The recipe was a standard tomato sauce, but if we hadn't been drinking and starving it probably would have had a much nicer flavour :P. We killed five bottles of wine and a 70CL bottle of 45% Import Strength Smirnoff, and subsequently fell into a deep comatic boozenap. Photos can be seen on Facebook.
My tune of the day is I Feel Like Dying- Lil Wayne. And the photos of the day are as follows:

The sky from my garden last year. I have such a poetic soul, this photo makes me all teary eyed just because of the intensity of the blue-ness of dusk.

And maybe a poem...

Wandering,
Thoughts are tumbling,
Waiting for tremors
to shake this shivering
Deliverance.
Pity me, gathering.
Attempting breathing as the world lies
Staggering
And we stay shuddering in fear-
This year is repeating.
Triggering
Reactions are cluttering
Speakers are stuttering
Crescendos are happening
This year is repeating.
Locked away, children are whispering
Huddling and coddling, in the dark
Fumbling for a light we're
Extinguishing
Relinquishing nothing
Since this year is repeating.