The Simple State

I tell you what. I'm getting personal.


Christian, Ra - Stay the hell out of my life, stay away from my house, away from my boyfriend and away from me.

Mike - Stay away from the afore mentioned, or you will be forcibly removed from my house.


Does no one understand that every time K is brought back into my life through stories and wasted friends, slippery accomplishments and perverted dusts, I have to relive it all.
I hate remembering that for a long few months I was off my tits on K trying not to remember how painful the situation was. That something sick had been done to me by someone who would walk free and could any day find me. Still could. And all anyone seems to do is rub it back in my face, oblivious.


So if you're close to me, stay the fuck away from K.

If you're on K, my dears, you're dead to me.

Keep Off The Roads

It's all the same, it's still fucked up.

Where have I been for the last two weeks? Well, drink your way to the bottom of a few litres of vodka and you too shall be illuminated. It's gotten to the stage (and taken a bow before curtain call) where sobriety is a non issue. If I'm not wasted, I'm not awake... And I don't have to worry about that much either. One thing that's really been affected is my energy, which is only the most obvious thing I could point and whine about. I miss kickboxing :( Who knows how hard it'll be to get into shape after this last binge.

Another morning where I wanted to stay in bed and snuggle with my nose pushed between mike's shoulder blades and overlapping thighs, wandering hands on soft, biteable hips. I don't know what it is that makes the warmth so irresistable, but I tell you, it's worth paying an extra £1.30 a day to come home for lunch and crawl back to bed. A whole hour of bliss is so worth that.

There's a new love in my life. It's got the inch on my old one. In fact, it's got about nine inches :D


T.V <3


Other than these blurry-eyed mumblings, everything's been so boringly average. I'm still a moody cunt with more moodswings than schizophrenic playground. Urgh. I'm so.. sleepy..

I need to move out. I need my own space. In space. I don't care where I live, just get me away from Jan because I'm five years overdue to be flying this nest. Also, part of me (probably the same part that wants to kick crying children in the face) wants her to see if being alone in this flat is really what she wants. After so much complaining, it would be nice to see her get fat and lazy and cease to exsist without me, her perfect child prodigy super ego bitch.


See? Wasn't that nasty? I can be mean too.

Living is Easy Cause You Breathe Life Into Me.

Macarons, I shall conquer. And devour.

Anyway, I'm all psyked up for summer, which should be fucking awesome. Odd that I should be working so close to The Good Doctor. I might have to drop in for a coffee and a little chat. Oh ok, I know I'm being terribly cruel but you can't turn away from these big Bambi eyes.

The summer just leapt in head first, didn't it? One day we're in shivering spring showers, the next day Summer had bared her warm bosoms like the syrup-sun she is. So now, we can laze with drinks, float along the rest of college and everything will be ok. She told me so herself.

And a side note to my beloved- I'm sorry! I'll have to Selotape my arms and legs together before bed. :( I can't believe you missed work and it was all my fault.

Unnnngh

Sometimes it gets dark.

Last night in the darkness they were shouting again. So much of it was jumbled confusion, but a few phrases I deciphered - Who are you? Sit down and shut up. Answer me.
It was loud, bad and fucking angry and all I could do was tug at Mike's shirt and hug closely to him until they stopped. I couldn't even speak. I thought I was done with this shit.

Work experience is long and nerve-twisting. I can't sleep and wake around 5AM in panic, who knows why.

Wow. I guess I'm more messed up than I thought I was at the moment. No wonder I've been having severe mood swings. Things seem clearer when they are written... odd, huh...

Dear Household - You Suck

Tonight I made fried polenta, warm garlic mushroom salad with lemon dressing, confit onions and chicken and some guac. No one wants it.

Urgh. Only the thought of a bunny sipping tea will make me feel better.

I just don't have the motivation to post at the moment. Everything feels efforted. I feel bland and flat. It's usual.

It's auditory.

It's all in my head.

Shut up.

I'm pretty sure that I'm stopping eating in favour of suicidal past-times, such as heavy drinking, heavy smoking and purposeful walking into oncoming traffic.

Good times. Just don't tell the vicar

You Can Lose Your Mind (Just Hold On To Mine)

A pretty uneventful week or two, hence a slow trickling of random updates and little coherence. I'm feeling very fluid, so let's roll.
I've started my Thai boxing lessons and they're pretty hard work but with time and effort I'll be ready to kick the shit out of y'all ^_^. I should probably work out y'know.. I need someone to yell at me or I won't do it.

Hey, Post 100.

http://www.ireallylikefood.com/709202547/50-foods-to-eat-before-you-die/


Yeah. I think I win here :D