Go

Again in my dreams, you come to me, come to me again. Mind pieces together each fragment of you still snagged in my soul, purges them into one. They say I am coping so well. So leave now, away from my night visions, and bring me no more shards of peace. I cannot bear the pain of waking.


And then
         the angels
         flew downy wings
                  clouds in their
                      eyes
           could not explain
               what was becoming
                   this 
          in every breath
    and their hearts
       beat
  us all down
      in flames unmerciful

Blah\Blah\Blah|Whine/Whine/Whine

I feel totally drained of everything. Normally I would be in a frenzy of awful AWFUL poetry (see previous posts) and confusing art. But at least I'm numbing everything out with my number one drugs and squashing any hurt into a very dark place no one will look ^_~. 

There aren't enough people like you these days. Everyone wants to make love. That's why I liked you. You just wanted to fuck, and that was perfect. I didn't need kissing and petting, just a few buttons for instant satisfaction. I come, you come. Whatever. Do something else until I want to fuck again.

Now I'm purloining hearts on the opposite end of the scale and it's a shock to the system. This isn't tear-your-goddamn shirt off and go like a pump action shotgun until the inevitable becomes unavoidable. It's slow, calculated fucking that already knows all the secrets. There's a whole new language, I forgot I was bilingual. But there's something to be said for excessive knowledge, I guess. This is good too. 

I don't exactly lack for company. Whore it up, little girl. 

Well

You weren't worth it.

You weren't worth crying all day over.
You weren't worth getting pregnant for.
You weren't worth all the different pills I took.
You weren't worth the AA meetings.
You weren't worth all the hospital stays.
You sure as hell weren't worth all the faked orgasms.
Or the real ones.
Your mother didn't like me.
You thought I was fat.
You thought I was ugly.
You are still in love with your ex.
Fuck off to uni.
I'm going to whore myself out to anything with a dick, tits or both.







Why are you still making me cry?
Fucking cunt.